Several times in life you feel like you cannot go on, because you have some burden, something that’s holding you back making you keep thinking about your past. You feel like you have something left behind that keeps on haunting you every day or on certain occasions. Probably some regret, some anger or frustration overcomes you when you are immersed in those memories..such negative feelings might be affecting both your personal and professional life, you get angry at minute things and people might be catching you fighting with flies or air..the sudden elevation of mood might be climaxing at torturing depression..just because of some past memories of people who were not sincere or loyal to you the extent you were..
Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you. Another misconception is that it depends on whether the person who did you wrong apologizes, wants you back, or changes his or her ways. If another person's poor behavior were the primary determinant for your healing then the unkind and selfish people in your life would retain power over you indefinitely. Forgiveness is the experience of finding peace inside and can neither be compelled nor stopped by another.
I believe that to withhold forgiveness is to choose to continue to remain the victim. Remember, you always have choice. When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven… owns you!
When you feel that forgiveness is not necessary, do not forgive for "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that some people will never do that. That is their choice. The hurts won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For some, it may take years. Don't rush it. Constantly reliving your wounded feelings gives the person who caused you pain power over you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt, it helps to focus your energy on the healing, not the hurt! Forgiving means to get the courage within yourself to overlook the wrong that someone did to you..aaah NEVER’(you don’t want to)..i know but only this yes only by forgiving the wrongdoer you CAN get the inner peace and free yourself from the anger and resentment, it’ll elevate your self esteem and give you hope for a bright future..your future is not in the past..so let yourself free from the past dwellings and make a bright blessed future..To forgive means to “give up” yourself from keeping the negative feelings that keep on restraining you from a healthy living. If you are at war with others you cannot be at peace with yourself. You CAN let go..and forgive! It takes no strength to let go..only courage. Don’t you feel like these memories are helping the negative emotions to make you feel miserable which’s indirectly stopping you from being the best you can become??try to let it go to make you feel free from the resentment, anger or hatred.. my dear stop destroying yourself!!you’ll not get anything good living this way..you can let that person go and stop making yourself feel sick about life. We are all human at the primary level, all want to be loved and want to lead a life full of happiness! So forgive those who hurt you some way. don’t wait for the one who’s done anything wrong to you to ask forgiveness..some can dare to, some just don’t get the courage to ask forgiveness and some just don’t feel like they’ve done anything wrong to ask forgiveness for..so do it for your ownself and for those people who rely on you for their happiness like your loved ones ummm Hey!! like your parents, your spouse, your children, your friends.
STEPS TO HEALTHY LIVING BY FORGIVING:
*Share your fears to someone close to you or talk them out to yourself just to make yourself feel relieved, or write all that you have in your heart to the one who hurt you and then throw it away or burn it..allow the offender and the pain they gave burn to ashes then bury these ashes in soil or somewhere as if having a funeral for this event-those actions-and the hold they have had over your life..ITS TIME TO LET GO-SAY IT LOUD “I AM RELEASING YOU & WHAT YOU DID TO ME TO MAKE MYSELF FREE FROM THE SICKNESS OF ANGER,HATRED AND FRUSTRATION”
*Ask forgiveness to Allah for anything that you did in your anger, accept your fears infront of Him and ask His help and assistance in setting you free from the feelings of anger, hatred, resentment or fear.
*Ask for clues to make you realize that Allah has forgiven you..Allah will never let you down because He created You and loves you..feeling relieved??
*Then with this relieved state of mind forgive the person who had hurt you, to make you free from those negative feelings that overcome you whenever you come across anything that makes you think of them..this may take days, weeks, months or years. Remind yourself that you have forgiven yes you have already forgiven them when you suddenly feel like you are thinking something bad about them..remind yourself again that you have forgiven them whenever you feel like you are suddenly thinking some bad thing that may happen to them just because they hurt you..
*Finally, when you think of them, and they can roll over your mind safely without being abused then you have really forgiven them and forgiven your ownself because if we are not forgiving someone then the person whom we are not forgiving is our ownself..
Don’t forget that We are the followers of those Messengers who were always praying for those who stoned them to blood, who were abused publically..they all believed that Allah is the one who’ll avenge the harm or injury they’ve faced by the hands of Mujrimun..ok ok I know you’re just a human being and they were The Great Messengers of ALLAH!you cant be like them in anyway but you can try to be like them..you’ll not only be blessed with peaceful life of this world but also blessed with Peace of The Day Of Recompense! think wisely and make your CHOICE!
This will SURELY give you the inner peace that your heart and soul’s been craving for…One of the most important keys to attaining the Way and mastery over self is the ability for forgive...and forget. The only thing – reality – that exists is the eternal NOW. Everything else is delusion, and based on false ego.